Melt down.

I had one last night. I made it through five months of PHR preparation without a single tear shed (well until I saw Passed on the screen that is) and I only made it to week twelve in my MBA before having a melt down.

It's Economics. I will be the first to admit, I'm not a numbers person. I'm not good with money and I can own that. It just does not come easy for me. The graphs look like a four year old attempting Chinese to me. But I have worked so hard, trying to get a grasp on it. Last night I went into my test feeling decently prepared. I had read my chapters, memorized the typology chart, studied with my group, and mastered the practice exam our professor gave us. Then when the test was passed out, I blanked. I felt like there were maybe three questions (out of fifteen) that I answered correctly. About half way through the tears started coming. I pulled it together enough to not distract those sitting around me with my sobs, but as soon as I turned my test in they came again. One of my group members finished him test at the same time, but I couldn't stand for him to see me crying, so  I hurried to the bathroom for some tissue but couldn't keep the tears from streaming down my face before I get there. I just don't get it. I'm so frustrated.  

In more positive MBA news, we started our first five-week leadership seminar. It replaces the time that was marketing (which I'm pretty sure I got an A in). I think I'm going to enjoy it. Dean Christian is already challenging our thoughts on leadership. We started off by coming to class with our StrengthsFinder 2.0 signature themes. Mine are: Futuristic, Harmony, Activator, Learner, and Discipline. None of these surprised me. I knew these things about myself, but I enjoyed how Rath gives you an action plan and a new way to look at your strengths, where I would normally just say "I like to plan," now I have a more in depth look at what that really means to my futuristic strength.